(Verse 1) Yo, Javier Bardem, you think you’re so slick, But let’s break it down, let’s get to the trick. You played a villain, all cold and insane, But in real life, you’re just a little mundane. You got that look, like you’re always confused, Like you just woke up, and you’re slightly bruised. From ‘No Country’ to ‘Skyfall’, you’ve got the range, But your hairline’s the only thing that’s really strange!

(Chorus) Javier, oh Javier, what’s with that stare? You’re a superstar, but do you even care? With your roles so intense, you’re a master of fright, But can you crack a smile? Just once, alright?

(Verse 2) You’re a heartthrob, but let’s keep it real, Your fashion sense? Man, it’s hard to conceal. Those suits you wear, they’re a little too tight, You look like you’re ready for a wrestling fight! And what’s with the accents? You switch ‘em like lanes, One minute you’re Spanish, next you’re in chains. You’re a chameleon, but not in a good way, Just pick one, Javier, for goodness’ sake, hey!

(Chorus) Javier, oh Javier, what’s with that stare? You’re a superstar, but do you even care? With your roles so intense, you’re a master of fright, But can you crack a smile? Just once, alright?

(Bridge) You’ve got the talent, that’s plain to see, But your public mishaps? They’re legendary! Remember that time you tripped on the red? The whole world laughed, but you just played dead.

(Verse 3) So here’s to you, Javier, with love and a wink, You’re a Hollywood star, but let’s not overthink. Keep acting fierce, keep stealing the show, Just don’t forget to laugh, let that humor flow!

(Outro) Javier, oh Javier, you’re one of a kind, A quirky superstar, with a brilliant mind. So take this diss, with a smile and a cheer, We love you, Bardem, now let’s grab a beer!