(Verse 1) Yo, Jake Gyllenhaal, what’s the deal? You’re the king of the brooding, but can you keep it real? From ‘Brokeback Mountain’ to ‘Nightcrawler’ fame, But sometimes I wonder, do you even know your name? You’re a method actor, but let’s be clear, You’re not a cowboy, you’re just a dude with a beard!

(Chorus) Jake Gyllenhaal, you’re a Hollywood star, But your dating life’s messier than a broken guitar! You’ve dated Taylor Swift, and that’s a whole song, But you dodged the drama, like you’re running from a throng!

(Verse 2) You’re in every movie, but where’s the hit? ‘Southpaw’ was cool, but did you really need to quit? You’re flexing those muscles, but can you flex your charm? Or are you just a pretty face with a whole lot of harm?

(Chorus) Jake Gyllenhaal, you’re a Hollywood star, But your dating life’s messier than a broken guitar! You’ve dated Taylor Swift, and that’s a whole song, But you dodged the drama, like you’re running from a throng!

(Bridge) You’re a quirky guy, with a smile so sly, But sometimes I wonder, do you even try? You’re in a love triangle, but it’s more like a square, With all these exes, man, do you even care?

(Verse 3) You’re a box office king, but let’s not pretend, That your career’s a rollercoaster, it’s hard to comprehend! From ‘Donnie Darko’ to ‘Spider-Man’ too, But we all know the truth, you’re just a little askew!

(Chorus) Jake Gyllenhaal, you’re a Hollywood star, But your dating life’s messier than a broken guitar! You’ve dated Taylor Swift, and that’s a whole song, But you dodged the drama, like you’re running from a throng!

(Outro) So here’s to you, Jake, keep doing your thing, Just remember, my dude, you’re not the only king! With your quirky charm and your brooding gaze, Just don’t take life too seriously, it’s all just a phase!