Bro heard the Big Bang

Bro's expiry date expired

Bro witnessed the fall of the Roman Empire

Bro met Julius Caesar

bro was Jesus's thirteenth disciple

Bro ghosted Cleopatra

Bro got a signed copy of the Bible

Bro co-founded earth

Bro saw dinosaurs go extinct

bro forgot to die

Bro met Burger King when he was a prince

Bro's friends are now fossil fuels.

bro is still waiting for gta 6

bro lived in pangea

Bro was the chief architect of the pyramids

When Alexander Graham Bell created the telephone, he found a missed call

Bros bestie was Shakespeare

Bro invented the oldest trick in the book

Bro watches Jurassic Park to reminisce about his childhood

Bro was the waiter at the last supper

his birthday says BC

man has moses in his contacts